“I Do Not Like The Cone Of Shame” ~Dug

Dear Readers,

Last Thursday Mum promised me belly rubs, dog parks, treats, walkies etc etc so I jumped in the car without a care in the world. But never in a million years did I think it was a farce. I know what you’re thinking. What about the last time you went to the vet? But you gotta remember something. A dog’s memory span is only about 5 days. It’s obviously a design flaw.

(Source)

When we got to the vet’s office, I immediately started whining. This wasn’t the dog park. And I don’t like the scale. It’s sterile, cold and smells like dogs. I mean. I smell good but other dogs don’t. Usually Mum stays with me but this time she left me. All. Alone. All I remember after that is being very sleepy.

When I woke up Mum was there to pick me up. I was very happy to see her. But still a little groggy from whatever they gave me. So in my excitement to see her and my inability to control my head movements very well, I konked her in the head! Oops! I don’t know much about science but I think 93lbs of G-Force is a pretty good clocking. Serves her right. For leaving me.

I found out later when Mum was talking to Dad, that I got my toofies cleaned. They are pearly white and Dad says I don’t have doggy breath anymore. Does that mean I’m not a dog? *scratching chin with paw* Oh and I guess the xrays say I have something called “hip dysplasia”. Is that bad? All I know is that I have to take some chewable pills every day. It makes walking and running much easier. I feel like a puppy again!

Unfortunately my arms were itchy where they shaved my legs for the catheter. I know I wasn’t suppose to lick them. Mum tried to keep me from licking. I just couldn’t help it. IT ITCHES! I guess I can understand what Mum is talking about when she shaves her legs. Forget that. I like my leg fur.

Mum tried a couple different things to keep me from licking.

But I was too smart.

I pretended to sleep and pulled them off when she wasn’t looking.

Finally Mum took me back to the vet and they gave me The Cone Of Shame.

At first I was unhappy. But then she promised to take me to the dog park. And I got happy again.

I love the dog park.

I guess It’s not so bad right now.

It’s just not very comfy to sleep in.

But it’s worth it b/c Mum kept her promise.

She took me the dog park.

And I made some new friends.

Woof,
Andorra The Dog

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